Yay!!!!!!

me & my French book. Getting my homework on. LMAO jk!

I have good news people! I wanted to surprise you.... I'm now 138 pounds! yay! In a week and a half I've lost 5 pounds and counting. I'm very proud of myself.

To answer you Elmer from your comment on my last post, (and anyone else that knows that starving yourself isn't the way to lose weight), I do eat a lot less calories but I get plenty of nutrients so my body doesn't think its starving. That way it will eat the fat away! I drink Shakeology twice a day, and still eat 6 small meals a day. It's like I'm hungry, but not lol

For two months I started working out a lot and eating around 1500 calories a day and I gained 3 pounds of muscle. Muscle is good but that is not my goal and I was sick of not seeing any results. That is why I actually work out less now- like two or three times a week and I eat about 1000 to 1200 calories a day and loose about 3 or 4 pounds a week. Its different for everyone! I've been trying things for awhile now and this works for me! I'm very excited and can't wait to continue and see what happens.

I tried on some bikinis today when I went shopping for a little bit and I look ok. I def need to lose about 20 more pounds until I can squeeze my big boobs into a bikini top!! But I see myself getting there!

Me playing around on my new mac!!

Update part deux!

I find that when I post on my blog it's usually because I'm sitting at the front desk of my job- answering phones lol I can't seem to find any other time to write in this blog! Maybe being a receptionist makes you think and ponder, which, in turn, makes you wanna write!

I got on the scale today and lost half of a pound. I was like, seriously ? that's it? But whatever. My body is really stubborn. If I was just an average person I would think I was pregnant, but NO... I'm def. not preggers. So I have no idea what is making me keep this weight on. I can HONESTLY say, without lying to myself, that I've done perfectly on diet. The ONLY thing I can think of is maybe the salad dressing for dinner I've had, but I still counted the calories.

This GMU video essay thing is a bitch. I'm not good at video stuff and I tried to record myself last night and not only did I look horrible but the background (aka my room) was not a good scene and I seemed to be sitting too far away from the camera... etc etc. This whole thing is annoying. I'm trying to hurry up and finish this thing but It's really hard and takes up a lot of time. I was up till one last night playing with the video because I've never done this stuff before. The only good thing that came out of the video is how sincere I was. I really want to go to mason and I know I belong there. I know I'm suppose to be there- and that is the whole point of why I'm doing the optional video anyway. I've already made the slideshow so I just need to make the actual video better, maybe put on some makeup, and find a better place and then put it together with my powerpoint slides, music and some effects. Sounds easy but it's not! I still need to edit my essay too... stupid essay. My essay is dumb too because I have to answer the question about volunteer work and I'm like, all I do is school, homework, work, workout.. etc. who has time for volunteer work when you're trying to better your life and make a future for yourself? All I have is stuff I've done at church and little things right after high school so that's why that essay is just ok to me.

me and my loss of a half of a pound is going back to work now!

Last day on this detox thing!

p.s. I wish I could do this for myself for valentine's day

Update!

It is day 2 and I've done great... no, not great, fantastic!!

I had two shakes, two snacks and a great dinner. I felt really weird yesterday though, which didn't help me while I was studying, but ya know, I did my best. I took my first bio 102 test today and I hope I get an A but I'm sure I got a B on it! It wasn't hard at all.. I studied all day yesterday with ease!

So for the first time today, in a very VERY long time... everything is going right.

I'm doing great on this detox thing, I'm not hungry today, I feel so lite lol and I feel great. I think when your body craves junk food it is because you are missing a nutrient or mineral that you body can not naturally produce- but yesterday and today I feel really good. I feel like my body is thanking me. I haven't lost anything, but this still feels right, I dont feel like I'm doing anything wrong so I'm gonna keep going!

I also got a bonus today at my job! So I'm very happy today!

I've been lying to myself. I've been working hard for the past two months, no doubt about that but have I been doing 100% of what I'm suppose to be doing? no.
why?
good question.
schedule changes, stress, enjoyment of food, comfort.... etc.

the list goes on. but what I realized is I'm doing this for myself. I need to do this for myself to prove that I can be whatever I put my mind to. Yeah, Its hard, but I'm strong enough, I can lose the weight, I can do this.
I just keep telling myself: food is fuel, food is fuel and nothing more.

The more I plan my schedule, the more I can make free time to do the things I love that way I don't turn to food for comfort. I've been reading more about losing weight, I've been motivated, and I'm serious about it. I need to do this for my health and my mind. What will I tell my future children about food when I get older? That its ok to be unhealthy and cheat? That using food as comfort is ok as long as you workout hard six days a week? No. This has got to stop.

The next three days I'm going to do a shakeology detox. I had a cheat day on monday, (which is normally one meal that day where I eat more calories, but not unhealthy food. I weight 143 pounds as of today. I want to be 140 by the end of the week. Not a bad goal if u ask me! 139 would be the cherry on top of the whole sundae!

I'm excited, already had a filling shake this morning, and I'm about to study and start my day working!

I'm very excited and I'm really focused. I know, I know, how long will this last? That is always in the back of my head, but if I start seeing results, I'll know I keep it up. If I start to feel amazing, I'll keep going and keep it up.
and I know I'll see results!

wish me good luck, especially for the next three days!