Monday, December 20, 2010

I wish I could have a friend who has never met me- someone just to talk to- who wont judge me harshly but someone I can talk to and give me good advice. I just cant share everything with some of the friends I have and it sucks. People are just too judgemental. I guess the one thing I would share with that "made up" friend is I'm scared to love again. In a way I feel bound and I just don't believe in the kind of love that I used to believe in. Its not a bad thing I dont think, I think It shows I've grown up-not hoping for some fairytale but hoping for real life. Every relationship is hard, I'm very satisfied being by myself this last month. Which is SO scary because if I get too comfortable I'll forget whats it like to have someone and then that in itself creates more problems in a relationship. I dont know what this life has to offer but I feel like I'm going to be single forever. Because of a couple reasons... 1. I want to get closer with God and I want to love myself more and more and 2. I don't think many people understand me. I never used to have a big huge plan for myself other than get married and pop out kids but this is my 10 year plan.... (and I know what your thinking, "alicia, plans never work out the way you think" which is so true, but I know if I am single for a long time this WILL happen because I know its what I want and because it's what is best for me)...

Jan 2011-May 2011
Finish my last semster at Nova community college & work out and be at my goal weight!
June 2011
Go somewhere wonderful for my birthday! Somewhere in the US!
June 2011-August 2011
Work double time to save up money for my first semester at GMU!
September 2011- may 2013
graduate School with a bachelors in English followed by a certificate in public relations and advertising. I'm sure I might be able to finish before 2013 but this is on the safe side!
That summer after I finish college-
Take a cross country road trip and see all the sites I've always wanted to see. Get a nanny job somewhere and enjoy the sites!
Find a decent job I love doing in one of the states I've visted that I loved to be in-
work and save up a ton of money!
Travel for six months on a volunteer trip or join the peace corps!
then the rest is history only God knows! I will probably get another decent job and save up money to travel again or settle down and start a family. If I do not find anyone by the time I'm 35 I will adopt or just get pregnant lol I want a baby eventually but only if the money and timing is right. I do believe all children should have a father or a father figure but lets be real... I know how to raise a good child!

soooo cute!

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