Yikes!

The 10k marathon is on sunday! yikes! I ran 6 miles yesterday and I did great! I ran the fastest I've ever done! My knees and feet were so tired though! I was glad to sleep after that. I'm excited about the race though! I still feel like a huge chicken running (small legs and feet but a huge chest and belly) lol! but i'm still gonna have a great time running!

Lately I've been content but sometimes I feel extrememly alone. It just drives me crazy because I dont feel special by a guy in my life. I wonder what makes me desire that attention so much that its hard not to think about it everyday. To me, being alone really isn't scary but its everyone else having someone who loves them except me is what breaks my heart. I feel that way during weddings, going out to the club, when I see a couple kissing.. etc. Its hard to sit and wait for someone and deep down I feel like there is no one out there. Its hard to wait for someone to notice me- to see me. I feel like I'm not part of the crowd. Like they are in a circle and I'm on the outside screaming, craving to be noticed but they only care about themselves.

For now I'll just shut out my lonely thoughts and picture what it would be like to go to Africa and play with giraffes! To feed them, to walk and run with them and to touch them! I <3>