I have taken the initiative to better log my food and calories, how much water I drink, and how much weight I loose or gain :( no gaining please!!!! I'm sick and tired of wondering what I'm doing wrong when it comes to eating so I'm going to log everything down- see what the patterns are and go from there!

You can see here that on the left I have the weight loss log where I write my weight everday (and yes I mean everyday) because I need that scale to know I mean business! I'm serious about this and I know it will help me a lot to constantly be aware about how much I weigh everyday. On the bottom left I have a sample meal plan just in case I get lost and forget that there are others out there like me who are doing the same thing and I should keep pushing through! Sometimes it does feel like I'm the ONLY person trying to be healthy so its a good reminder. The right side is the food diary where I log how much water I've taken in, how many calories and whether or not I've had a faboulous, ok, good, or great day! I really like how organized I am! It also asks me about my workout and if it's light, moderate or heavy.

Oh... the soda days. I miss soda- but I have to tell myself... do I love cancer or soda more? Apparently soda causes cancer and that is a fear of mine: dying too young.

So with all my power and might- I'm staying away from soda.

damn... I wish I had a soda right now!

but I gotta keep away!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is me and my best friend Tawnya :) Isn't she beautiful???? I'm holding her belly because she is carrying my first God child, Kayde. I'm so excited and last Saturday was her baby shower. Elmer got to come along and it was really fun! You can see more pictures on facebook!

11 weeks left!

This is my me & my Dad. We met for the first time two years ago. I went to go visit him the day after Christmas for a week and I learned so much about the other side of the family. All n'all I had a great time. I learned a lot about my dad and found out what kind of person he is- which is great because it helps you find out what kind of person I am.

Getting to know my dad has it's hard times- especially because he smokes, and I can't stand smoking. I mean, you're talking to a woman who is trying to be healthy at all times, no matter what and I just can't take smoke. Especially if you don't wash your hands after smoking and it cuts into the middle of dinner because you're so addicted you just have to smoke. Me, personally, I would NEVER date someone who smokes. I don't care if you are the hottest guy ever, I would never kiss you. I hate smoking that much. So you can see the dilemma that I'm trying to get close to my dad (hug him, talk to him) but his constant smoking is getting in the way.

I'm not saying he has to quit, I just wish his lifestyle didn't revolve around it only because it is very hard to get close to him.

Like I said though- I had a great trip, I LOVE my new family members, I wish I could spend more time with them, I really do.

I know we all have problems with our parents- but because so much time has wasted with my dad and not knowing him or my other family members, I don't want anything to get in the way.

any thoughts?